as my battery is about to die, this may have to be a quick post.
interesting thing, apparently in france, when a person pulls their eyes back in the way to 'imitate' what an asian person looks like, it's not really considered offensive?
i dunno. most of the french people i've asked about it have been white so i don't know if that may be a reason why they don't see it as offensive. but then i asked one of my asian french friends about it and she said that she didn't find it offensive either. or, she said that, but then she also said that because the girl who did it is one of her good friends, she didn't find it racist in any way. so i don't know if she was saying that because her friend did it, it's okay but if someone she didn't know did it then she'd be pissed or what.
but either way. when some of my french friends did it, i was just like 'OH HELLZ NO.'

it's also been hard because, don't get me wrong cause i like hanging out with them for the most part, but there are times when they say certain things that i myself see as offensive but they don't. at least, not really. so i don't know if i'm 'overreacting' or what. but then i ask myself why i think i'm overreacting. and....i don't know exactly how to word this thought. but regardless, why should i think i'm overreacting when i think i have a valid reason to be questioning some of the things they may say or do? problem being that when they say or do these things i can feel why they're wrong but i can't exactly explain why. so then i don't really say anything because i don't want to bring up something without being able to back it up and feel like a huge ass and be attacked without any support. but then i feel like i should say something, that i shouldn't let these things slide. and anyway. now i'm just rambling and writing almost anything that pops into my head because i don't want my battery to die and to lose all my thoughts. no matter how scattered they are right now.

time to study?

OOOMMGGG. i can't believe it's been more than a month since last posting. oops. i really don't want to let this blog disappear into nothingness like my japan blog did. that made me sad.
things have been okay lately. albeit stressful. but mostly because of my lack of ability to time-manage. i have so much shit going on at home that it's driving me crazy. i don't know why i can't not-procrastinate. sigh. whatever.
study abroad really is like high school. i'm not exactly sure how to describe why but it's just this feeling. kind of like, you see the same people every single day and hang out together all the time and do stuff together and blahblahblah. and then things start to get unnecessarily complicated.
let me tell you, watching certain things play out between certain people is becoming a major pain in my ass. don't get me wrong, i love gossip. i'll admit it. but there's something about this situation that is just driving me fucking bonkers. i don't know what it is, but i guess i figure that since we're fucking out of high school and now adults [however you may define 'adults,' relatively speaking] makes me think that we shouldn't be acting the way we're acting. i feel like we're behaving like a bunch of middle schoolers and that irritates me beyond all belief. don't get me wrong, i have my immature moments quite a bit. i still have a shitload of growing up to do. but....the way they're acting is just so...childish.
i guess i'm a little bit biased since i'm somewhat, sort of involved with the situation. sort of. and i'm sick of being in this position over and over again.
people, get your shit together.
all i can say is that i see that tensions are building within the french group. and eventually, it's going to spill over and the shit is gonna HIT THE FAN.
i guess i'm also a little grumpy since i've got literally, like 15 bugbites all over my body and it's not even MAY yet. fuck.
i suppose i sound like i don't hanging out with the french group and that's not what i mean at all. i do enjoy spending time with them but sometimes....i just want to scream at the top of my lungs. GROW UP. YOU'RE NOT IN HIGH SCHOOL ANYMORE. SUCK. IT. UP.
ughhh.

maybe phil's somewhat right. as americans, we're fairly desensitized and hardened to everything. but i feel like you have to be like that to an extent in order to survive. at least in the US.

this entry really makes no sense. it's hard when you don't mention names. i don't know why i censor names. why do i care what they think? i don't know. don't want to create unnecessary drama i guess. i have enough on my plate with trying to maintain my sanity.

i don't know what to do with this blog exactly. should i blog about day-to-day activities? do people really even give a shit about that stuff?

/end.